Ahead of his upcoming show at Warehouse Four here in Dubai (Weds 27 Feb), we caught up with award winning English comedian Ian Smith to ask him a few ‘off the wall’ questions. Here’s what he had to say…
Whatâ€™s the most interesting thing about you that we wouldnâ€™t learn from your resume?
I almost always wear two pairs of socks at the same time. I donâ€™t know if thatâ€™s interesting, or weird. One pair of short socks, one pair of long socks. I donâ€™t know why I do this.
What is the funniest thing that has happened to you recently?
I have just booked a holiday to Chernobyl with my brother. I think thatâ€™s very funny. I also recently went to New Zealand, and a glowworm cave tour suddenly turned into a sheep-shearing event for no reason at all. That was very funny. The shearer got the sheep in a headlock and started doing a voice for the sheep saying, â€œIâ€™m about to get my hair cutâ€.
What is your least favorite thing about humanity?
The whole Brexit thing is certainly pretty terrible at the minute, just a bit of a mess. There are worse things going on in the world â€“ but thatâ€™s the main thing we talk about in the UK right now!
Best heckler putdown that you wish was yours?
I remember laughing for a very long time when a heckler shouted, â€˜Youâ€™re shitâ€™ at a comedian and they just very confidently replied, â€˜No Iâ€™m notâ€™.
Whatâ€™s the weirdest place youâ€™ve ever vomited?
If Iâ€™ve vomited anywhere weird Iâ€™ve probably been too drunk to remember. I usually just go for a classic â€“ sink or toilet. Sorry that I havenâ€™t been more exciting here. Iâ€™ll try vomit up on a water slide or something in the next few weeks.
How many days have you gone without showering?
When I was younger we only had a bath â€“ so technically, about 8 years (longer if it wasnâ€™t for hotel showers).
Cats or dogs?
Dogs. I really want a husky ever since I went sledding in Norway. I also crashed the sled and nearly broke a mans arm, but that didnâ€™t put me off the huskies.
What would I find in your refrigerator?
Edam cheese â€“ the most adventurous of all the cheeses. It almost tastes of nothing.
If you could only choose one song to play every time you walked into a room for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Happy Birthday. Then people would think theyâ€™d forgotten my birthday and Iâ€™d get presents or just a free drink or two.
If you couldnâ€™t be comedian, whatâ€™s your backup plan?
A hotshot lawyer, shouting â€˜objectionâ€™ and helping innocent clients escape prison. I think I watch too much TV.
Worst decision you ever made?
Saying the most interesting thing about myself is that I wear two pairs of socks.
What was the last gift you gave someone? And to whom?
My fiancÃ© is a childrenâ€™s book illustrator â€“ I bought her a childrenâ€™s book that I think sheâ€™d like.
Any advice for your previous boss?
Iâ€™ve only ever been a stand-up comedian. I was lucky enough to get cast in a sitcom when I graduated and have done bits of acting work and stand-up since then.
We finish the interview and you step outside the office and find a lottery ticket that ends up winning $10 million. What would you do?
I think I would buy my home townâ€™s football team and make them playing in shirts that have my face on. I would give some to family, friends and charity too â€“ but not after Iâ€™d seen how much those football shirts cost.
Where: Warehouse Four
When: Wednesday 27th February
Time: 8pm (Doors open 6.30pm)
Door policy: Over 18â€™s only.
Price: AED 75